Jen Coats was taken aback when her young son was diagnosed with autism, but she was determined to fight for him—and along the way, she built a network of compassion and support to give hope to others. Here, Woman’s World shares her story.

Tears spilled down Jen Coats’ cheeks as she buckled little Nolan into his car seat. At three years old, he barely spoke, and rarely responded to other kids during play dates.

“He has Autism,” the doctor had just told her, and Jen was uncertain what his future would hold.

“I suppose there’s a part of me that knew all along,” Jen said to her mother-in-law, who had come with her to the appointment for support.

“No one really needs to know,” came her reply, trying to comfort Jen — but the statement did just the opposite. Jen’s tears dried instantly as her mood shifted. She gripped the steering wheel, remembering her father and how he’d never shown pride in any of her accomplishments when she was growing up.

Nothing she did had ever been good enough for him, and the sting of rejection still lingered.

I’ll never be that parent, she silently vowed, touching her belly where her second child was growing, and almost instantly, Jen transformed from a panicking mom into a fighting mama bear.

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Instilling confidence

Jen immediately threw herself into Nolan’s care. Speech therapy, occupational therapy and feeding therapy. She ensured that Nolan never missed a single appointment. She even arranged for a music therapist to make home visits, and Nolan was fascinated by the instruments and imitating the sounds they made for his new little sister, Quinc.

When Nolan neared Pre-K, Jen and her husband, Scotty, sold their house and moved to another Long Beach, California, district where he could attend a special program for kids with autism. “He’s really progressing,” the teacher told Jen one afternoon, and she couldn’t stop telling her little boy how proud she was of him.

Jen knew she wasn’t alone. “There are other parents out there going through the same things we are,” she told Scotty, and she meant to find them.

So, Jen began sharing her journey on the school’s website, journaling Nolan’s various therapies and explaining how to better support and encourage other neurodivergent children.

Slowly, she began hearing from other parents of neurodivergent kids. The families bonded and gathered at one another’s homes. They shared tips and resources with parents of the newly diagnosed, and invited them to play groups where the kids could be themselves and parents weren’t anxious because their child might act out or become upset or stressed.

“The LBC Hero Squad,” Jen dubbed the group after Long Beach, California and Nolan’s love of comic superheroes.

Spreading smiles

In the spring of 2017, the Hero Squad held their first event for Autism Awareness week at a local school. They decorated the hallways in neurodivergent-friendly rainbow colors and provided books and videos about understanding autism and having compassion for the students and their teachers.

“Your classmate with autism may not react the same way other students do, but it doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t like you and want to be your friend,” Jen explained to the kids at school assemblies.

The next year, Jen and the others held events for a second Autism Awareness week, and soon, other schools asked if they could participate, too.

These days, Jen’s squad holds monthly mixers at a local park with food, snacks, games and fun for all.

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At a recent event, they and other local nonprofits teamed up with a skateboard company to give away boards, shoes and helmets to 100 kids — along with an instructor to provide lessons. Nolan, now 15, helped with registration.

Meanwhile, 12-year-old Quinc operated the information booth and passed out brochures about her planned siblings event for kids with neurodivergent brothers and sisters where they can share their unique prospectives and challenges, and find a community they can lean on.

Nolan, who also earns mostly As, plays drums with his high school jazz band and Quinc is an honor student, despite her dyslexia and ADHD.

“I’m so proud of both of them, but we aren’t succeeding alone,” Jen modestly insists. “We found our village and we lift one another up together.”