HAVE you ever had a request from a patient where you struggled to keep straight face?

The team at AusDoc asked its readers to share some of their stories, and they readily obliged.

Medical terminology mixups featured a few times, like the woman who didn’t need contraception because she’d had tubal litigation.

Or the patient who’d had a skin lesion removed and asked for the results from their autopsy.

A man asked his doctor if she thought he might be a celeriac – after all, his sister was a celeriac.

Then there was the patient who declared he had an issue with his tentacles.

Meanwhile, it seems some are confused about what being sexually active actually means.

One doctor had a 17-year-old patient who presented on a Monday with pain in her lower abdomen, and asked her if she was sexually active, to which the patient said no.

After taking a history and doing an examination, the doctor suspected pelvic inflammation and asked again about sexual activity, to which the patient replied, “well, not right now”.

The doctor asked her when she was last sexually active, which was “Saturday night”.

It’s nice to see patients having a joke at their own expense, like when a patient stated her personality was all the contraception she needed.

Or at their husband’s expense?

“I told a lady you should avoid nuts; she replied ‘I am married to one’.”

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